In my last post I went through my whole journey up to my final painting in 2016 before I quit having suffered a grief. When my lovely dog passed away in October 2016 I could not face painting or drawing or art or anything. I got rid of all my art and most of my art materials and did not go near it again. The final thing I had done was to ask Gary Gumble at Beginning Artist for advice on how to improve with my art. Here is his reply to my letter:
Hello
Bernadette,
Thank
you very much for your email. Believe me; what you are experiencing is not
unique to you. Many beginners struggle with that judgmental voice we all have
in our heads. That voice that tries to convince us that what we do must be
perfect or it's no good. I've had to fight with that voice many times over the
years. I've learned that most of the time that voice is very wrong. It creates
limits on what we can accomplish that don't otherwise exist.
You
mention that you can copy quite well. That's a great beginning point for art.
By learning to copy well you're establishing a good foundation for growing
beyond that point.
I would
love to give you more specific advice if I could see some of your work. Would
you be willing to email me photographs of a few drawings and a few paintings?
(Finished or unfinished is fine.)
Best
Wishes,
Gary Gumble
Founder of www.beginningartist.com
I did send him some of my sketches to look at but right away his immediate insight and pinpointing of the Inner Critic was incredible! It was so true. I was really limiting myself, creating restrictions and worrying too much, aiming for perfection. It really really helped! Sadly it was not until 1 year later in 2017 that I felt able to reply and perhaps venture along the art journey once more:
Dear
Gary,
Thank
you so much for getting back to me. I found your email buried amongst
other emails from a long time ago and I have been meaning to write back.
Many things happened after I wrote to you and I found myself abandoning
art. I still enjoy your newsletter emails but I have not personally
continued with any artwork for almost a year now. I keep wishing to and I
have a journal where I copy various passages of texts and things and I
occasionally like to draw in something but as I said before, unless I copy, I
cannot seem to do anything.
As suggested, I am attaching some pictures of some of the artwork
I have done in the past. What I wish to do is to be able to draw, I like
pencils, but when I think and hover over the page, I literally cannot do
anything unless it is a 2D childish drawing. It's different if I copy
though. It seems strange. I see peoples examples of their notebooks
and things, with thoughts or ideas or even a collection of drawings but I don't
know how to go about that kind of thing. I hope that makes sense and that you can give me some tips.I
am attaching some sketches. I went through a tutorial book and these are
a few of the exercises. The gramophone I copied off of a random image
from Google Images and was pleased with.
Best
Wishes and thanks
Bernadette
The images I sent were of the first sketches and the gramophone that appear on this blog in my first posts. I am including his correspondence as it's just remarkable:
Hi Bernadette,
I was pleased to see your drawings and
sorry to hear you have stopped doing them, even though you say you keep wishing
to start. My impression from looking at your drawings and from what you said in
your email is that you are expecting way too much of yourself for the stage you
are at. That perfectionism, which I can recognize because it is part of me as
well, can be self-defeating. It becomes a Catch 22. You are unable to meet your
too-high expectations because you aren't experienced enough yet. And you can't
become experienced enough because the critic in your mind tells you that you
can never reach the lofty expectations it sets.
Well, speaking as an experienced artist
who has had to deal with his own inner critic, I don't find your drawings "childish"
at all. Do some of them show inexperience? Of course they do. You are
inexperienced. But some also show a good eye for shape and proportion. The
purse, the fruit and especially the gramophone are drawn very well. Doing
simple line drawings doesn't mean they are childish. They would only look childish
if the shapes and proportions were way off.
 |
| Gramophone copied from Google Images |
Another sign of that damn inner critic is
when you say all you can do is copy. Well, copying is where everyone starts, me
included. You have no right to compare your efforts to people who have much
more experience doing journals and sketchbooks. More creativity in what you do
comes with experience.
You copy. As you begin to feel more in
control of the medium you are using, you become more confident and more willing
to "color outside the lines", so to speak. You become more willing to
experiment and see what happens. Gradually you become more and more creative….and
you learn to ignore the inner critic.
But first you need to allow drawing to
just be fun. No more expectations or intentions than that. If your mind starts
ranting that something you've drawn "should be" better or
"should be" this or "should be" that, that is your
self-defeating inner critic talking. The main thing drawing "should be"
is fun.
So, my conclusion is that your drawings already
show that you have the ability to learn to draw well. The only question in my
mind is will you begin to do that or will you let your inner critic continue to
defeat you?
Here's hoping you choose the first option.
Gary Gumble
Founder of www.beginningartist.com
The best part of the correspondence in the following weeks and kind of summary or mantra I like is to keep it fun. Gary sent the follow reply and the final sentence is so worth holding onto and really made me laugh:
I'm pleased to hear that I was of some help to you. And I am
pleased to hear you are sketching again. The really important thing is to keep it
fun and keep a careful watch out for when that critic tries to sneak back into
your thoughts with negativity. Resist!
Say, "Thank you for sharing, but I'm going to ignore
you."
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